A Merc Disposed
by Aquamonkey
Summary: *This is a tribute one-shot piece for Robin Sachs, aka the voice actor for Zaeed Massani from Mass Effect 2 and 3. He died in February of this year. This is based during ME2 and will have swearing in it. Half renegade-half paragon Shepard. RIP Robin*


A Merc Disposed

Cassandra Shepard had had a very bad day. The council disagreeing with everything she said. The Reapers were coming and it was almost like the Councillors had turned into children, saying nuhuh. Yes they are for fucks sake. It made her question why they made her a Specter if they didn't trust a damn word she said. She got to the crew deck and threw her armor chest plate at a wall, stomping around like an enraged beast. She took off another piece and threw it at the same wall, metal clashing with the metal floor making the sound reverberate off of every surface around it. Thane peeked his head around the Life Support door and knew better than to reason with Shepard if she had had a bad day. His head disappeared, the door closed, and Cassandra mouthed sorry in his direction.

She got to the end of the corridor and was just about to throw something else when a smirking Zaeed popped out of his cargo hold room and scanned the now red faced Shepard.

"I take it someone has had a shitty day huh?" His smirk remained and it pissed Cassandra off.

"Not a strong enough word Massani. And I don't need your caustic and sandpaper humor to annoy me further okay?"

"Oh, I'm wounded Cassie".

Cassandra's eyes darkened. "Do not call me that. I am your direct superior. Freakin abrasive merc. Ugh!" She ripped off another armor piece and went to throw it, but Zaeed stopped her.

"Calm down, Cassie. Put that down and we can talk about it".

Now Cassandra's nostrils flared. "Fuck you Massani! Call me Cassie one more time and I swear I will shoot you right now". She could barely breathe properly now, her lungs struggled to take in oxygen.

"Commander. What is throwing stuff gonna do apart from make you look like a bratty little bastard? Talk to me".

"I didn't hear a please there you old curmudgeon". She laughed a little at that.

"I do not say please. Never do, usually people speak up pretty well when they have Jessie to their skulls".

Cassandra cocked her head. "Jessie? You named your fucking gun Massani? Aww, you look a little senile?"

Zaeed laughed. "I'll have you know Jessie has gotten me through a lot of crap, a lot of Batarians too. Those bastards really piss me off. How the hell do you control the multiple species on this ship Shepard? They'd usually be fighting each other and hell, even I'd avoid that firefight".

Cassandra just shrugged. "Simple. I tell them that if they want to start something, they get the hell off my ship. They start it on here, and there will be hell to pay". She flicked back her hair and smiled. "I don't fee like crap anymore. I guess your acidic personality isn't that bad. I could warm to you, you old merc".

"Fuck you, getting all sentimental. Never liked that bull crap".

"Me either. Not a flowers and chocolate kind of woman. I'd much prefer a glass of whiskey and a cleaning a gun. Now that is a night I won't get bored of".

Now he cocked his head. "I thought you used to go out with that biotic, what's his name?"

"Kaidan? Nah, he's too sweet. Don't get me wrong, he is a nice guy but more of a friend than anything".

Zaeed smirked again. "And Kelly?"

Cassandra giggled. "Kelly? What, she likes me now? It's her job to isn't it? Well at least pretend to if anything".

"Oh she does, I've seen the doe eyed looks she gives you. Almost made me sick with how lovey-dovey they were, then I thought, two hot women, going at...".

Cassandra shoved her hand onto Zaeed's mouth and her eyes widened. "Oh you sick old man. Ugh, for fucks sake. Men! And they wonder why women get mad at them".

Zaeed scoffed. "Don't you be using the sexist card on me Cassie, I treat women with respect, I look after them. Jessie is the most looked after gun on this damn ship".

Cassandra just glared at him. "Yes but Jessie is a gun, you don't fuck a gun, and you certainly don't touch a woman like you would a gun".

His calculating smirk was back. "And I suppose you know that from your own needs, hmm?"

Cassandra turned away and blushed vividly. "Okay, I walked into that one, but don't you dare think you have won this you, you, shit, I can't think of anything to say back. Right, your loyalty mission".

Zaeed grew angry. "Yeah, Vido that fucking asshole. Can't wait to blast him to bits, Jessie will love that, the old girl".

"You talk about Jessie as if she is your girlfriend. Oh god...don't say anything else. I know that look in your eyes and now I am freaking out. Lets just get to Zorya and do this mission. What?"

Zaeed now seemed to be studying her. "Shepard, tut tut. Why are your pupils dilated?"

"I am angry, and slightly confused".

"That's bull and we both know it. Dilated pupils mean that the great Shepard, first human Specter, fucking history maker just became aroused at something the, and I quote, 'senile old man' said".

"HA dream on! Maybe the lack of cigarettes addled your brain. Smoke one, before I slap you".

"Slap me then. Get your anger out now, cause once we reach Zorya, I will be pissed, trigger finger is getting itchy".

Cassandra picked up her armor pieces. "Well we'll itch it shall we? Get Jessie and lets go. And don't be late old man, cause if you are, my trigger finger will become conveniently itchy, and I am pretty sure that even in your long career, fueled by rage, you don't want my bullet in a very, and I stress, very personal place". She winked and walked away but Zaeed pulled her back.

"I doubt you would do that very much, Cassie". He smirked.

Cassandra smirked and batted away his hand.

"Try me".


End file.
